I Get The Weirdest Search Terms Sometimes

I should probably be figuring out how to flesh Guinevere out for another Merlin post, but I’m kind of tired and I’ve been wanting to do a post on this subject for a while: I have some of the weirdest search results sometimes. I expect this is common amongst anyone whose blog manages to achieve even the tiny amount of success I’ve managed, but the fact that it’s normal makes it weirder.

For example:

are there any official books about trielta hills

How did this person find my blog? It’s not a completely weird question to ask. The Trielta Hills are a location in Faerun, their thing is that they’re uniquely devoid of any lost wizard towers, ancient burial mounds, or lost kingdoms, which is supposed to be a “ha ha, we’ve got so many adventure locations that normalcy is weird!” but if you can’t find any location within 100 miles of where you’re sitting right now that wouldn’t make a great D&D adventure site then you live in a uniquely desolate area. It is indeed super weird that the Trielta Hills apparently have no notable history whatsoever.

Griping about dumb worldbuilding aside, though, how many pages of Google results did this guy scroll through to reach my blog? Must’ve been on like page twelve or something. Did I even mention the Trielta Hills in my Sphere of Influence posts?

“princess peach” “different plot”

When I wrote my weird Mario ramblings in 2017, I thought it was barely reaching the level of “better than nothing,” but apparently it’s actually bringing some amount of traffic in? I hope this guy found what he was looking for. My interpretation of the Mario canon is definitely a different plot.

5e op necromancer

Was this guy looking for an explanation of why Necromancers are OP? Or was he just looking for how to build an OP necromancer? The latter one isn’t exactly hard. You just prepare Animate Dead into every slot you can and call it a day. Sure, we can quibble a little bit over how often you should prepare Animate Objects instead, but really, do we care exactly how much we’re breaking the game after we’ve already broken it?

what awaken on line affinity are you

Dark. You are dark affinity, because everyone is dark affinity. Jason got there by killing two NPCs for power, and I guarantee you’ve done that at least once.

ffx11 love chaos

This guy was probably trying to type in FFXII and just failed super hard at it, but I like to imagine that this is actually a secret code used to communicate to Google that he is ready to join their chaos cult.


Apparently at least one person has reached this blog by Googling its exact url.

vampirer blog white wolf

It’s not weird that someone searching for a blog about White Wolf wound up running into my Beast: the Primordial article. It’s also not weird that they made a minor spelling error. It is kind of weird that I got three different views from the exact same misspelling.


This is the single most popular known search result leading people to this blog (which still makes it a minute amount of total traffic – almost all search results are unknown). The exact url of one of my articles. It’s a good article and all, but why do people enter this one into a search engine instead of the address bar by mistake so often?


Forget page twelve, this guy must’ve been on like page two hundred before my blog came up in a Google search for a term that refers to a massive online marketplace, a massive rain forest, and a famous tribe of warrior women with an association with the hero of a recently popular super hero movie.

1 thought on “I Get The Weirdest Search Terms Sometimes”

  1. >Apparently at least one person has reached this blog by Googling its exact url.
    I recall having an issue some time ago where pasting an url into the Firefox address bar incessantly Googled the url instead of just going to it.

    >vampirer blog white wolf
    Were they close in time so that it could have plausibly triple counted?
    I mean, I guess someone could reload Google search results from their history.


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