Hogwarts Is Messed Up

Hogwarts is technically a school and from the students’ perspective it’s run like one. From the administration’s perspective, it’s a front for a vigilante counter-terrorist organization, a magical research laboratory, and a vault for containing dangerous magical artifacts. Hogwarts is the most secure place in magical Britain, which means organizations like the Order of the Phoenix use it as a stronghold and lock up their deadliest magical superweapons there to keep them out of the wrong hands while paying so little attention to the professors that Slugworth can found magical prodigy conspiracies complete with handing out powerful magical elixirs and the secrets of fucking horcruxes and Lockheart can totally abandon his students to deal with potentially injurious or even deadly magical creatures on their own, and in neither case are either of them fired. Sure, the Defense Against the Dark Arts position was literally cursed and that made teachers slim pickings, but the death eater infiltrator was a more responsible teacher than Lockheart, so they clearly had some options.

Hogwarts teachers are held to basically no standards at all for student safety and injuries requiring hospitalization are commonplace. For the love of God, each year has about eight-ish students per house for a total population well under 250, and yet they have a hospital ward with enough beds to handle one or two dozen kids. They have magical supermedicine that can heal nearly any injury overnight, and yet they’re all ready to have 5-10% of their student body incapacitated in the hospital at any given time. Hogsmeade must have a comparable population (you can hardly get much lower) and they don’t even have a clinic!

Hogwarts has recognized the threat to student health represented by using their school as a fortress/safehouse and consistently failing to discipline teachers who endanger children, and their answer was to expand the medical facilities. They do not give a fuck if students are in danger. “Professor Dumbledore, St. Mungo’s has sent another letter of complaint. They say they’ve had to dedicate an entire ward of the hospital just to Hogwarts injuries. Should we maybe stop harboring retired aurors who are secretly still pursuing unresolved cases and have dozens if not hundreds of old dark magical enemies seeking revenge?” “Nah, we’ve got some room in the south tower, just set up a medical ward there, problem solved.”

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